I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
