so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
