Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
