no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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