: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He felt like a one man threesome
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
