I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
