i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
