i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
