apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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