he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
