her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
