There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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