Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
