I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize