At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
