I must be too annoying 4 u.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He felt like a one man threesome
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
