i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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