yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
