Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
