I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
