I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
