found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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