OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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