I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
