Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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