You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
