Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
