party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
