I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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