Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
