I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
