is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
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