Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
