I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I will be naked everywhere
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
