The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
