it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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