she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
