How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
