I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
