God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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