Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You may now shotgun with the bride
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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