oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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