Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
