why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
