Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
