I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
