He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
