maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
