In the future we'll all be gay
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She's the barista slut.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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