Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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